By Chris Ingram

Having Sen. Marco Rubio as the champion of the immigration reform bill Congress is considering is akin to asking the Road Runner to be in charge of speed limits. Here’s why: Rubio is Cuban. Being Cuban means he is Hispanic. Republicans have a huge problem in appealing to Hispanics. Ergo, Rubio is the savior of the party who will help it win the Hispanic vote.

Problem is, although Rubio is (more…)

By Chris Ingram

Satire

Retail stores nationwide reported a run on pressure cookers and slow cookers (Crock-Pots), following plans by congressional Democrats and the White House to ban sales of the small appliances following Monday’s tragic bombing in Boston in which pressure cookers were the weapon of choice. The FBI found remnants of a cooker they believe was filled with nails and packed with explosives. The bombing killed three people.

Speaking from the floor of the House of Representatives on Thursday, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi said she would introduce an immediate emergency ban of pressure cooker and slow cooker sales. Pelosi believes such a ban would be legal under Article 1, Section 8, Clause 3 of the United States Constitution.

“The Commerce Clause provides wide latitude for the government to regulate dangerous weapons such as these. We are working with Senate Democrats and the president to ensure these weapons of civil destruction don’t end up in the wrong hands,” Pelosi said.

As he took a drag on a cigarette while walking into a tanning salon on Capitol Hill, House Speaker John Boehner mused, “Pressure cookers and Crock-Pots (more…)

By Chris Ingram

The Tampa Tribune

Published Tuesday, February 27, 2013

Most anyone who has taken a statistics class has heard the example of the incidence of rape rising when sales of ice cream increase. Does that mean rape is more likely to occur as ice cream sales rise? The evidence says yes.

But would banning ice cream sales result in a reduction in the number of rapes? Almost certainly not. Why? Because the correlation does not demonstrate the causation. Looked at another way, they have a shared cause, but there is no correlation. The cause in both cases is hotter temperatures. That is, rape is more likely to occur in warmer months, just as ice cream sales shoot up during the hot summer season. Banning the sale of ice cream to reduce rape makes about as much sense as banning guns to reduce violence.

We get bombarded with stats, figures and polling data every day. Much of this, particularly the polling data, is next to useless. But it doesn’t stop the media from fixating on often-times meaningless numbers to tell a story. Real facts and figures are harder to explain, thus the preferred use of polling numbers.

But hard facts don’t lie. According to the FBI, in 2011 there were 8,583 firearm-related (more…)

By Chris Ingram

The Tampa Tribune

Published Tuesday, February 16, 2013

Last week I took my girls to the public library to check out some books, and they asked whether they could get their own library card. The librarian said they could but that their cards would be tied to my card for fines. She also said we would need to produce a birth certificate, Social Security card, report card or some similar type of “official item” with their names on it to prove their identity.

I asked her why something official is needed, and she explained that people were getting cards for kids who did not exist, and not returning items. She said this was occurring before the library started tying youth accounts to an adult’s. So why, with the accounts tied together, do I still need to provide a document with the kids’ name on it? She said she agrees it is unnecessary now but that she does not make the rules.

As countless motorists know, if you are renewing a driver’s license, you need tons of documentation to prove your identity. Stories persist of (more…)

By Chris Ingram

The Tampa Tribune

Published Wednesday, January 31, 2013

“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.” — Ernest Benn, British author

Apparently having given up completely on the idea of individual freedom, free markets and fewer government regulations, the Republican-dominated Florida Legislature is considering a bill (SB 100) sponsored by Rep. Nancy Detert, R-Venice, that would prohibit employers from considering a prospective employee’s credit report as a part of the hiring process.

This ill-conceived attempt to help curve Florida’s dismal employment numbers wrongly assumes several things and ignores other more important considerations. In essence, this bill is a politician’s attempt to heal a heart attack victim by placing a Band-Aid on another patient’s broken toe. One can only assume this is being done because said politician has no idea how to heal the heart attack victim.

In this case, the heart attack represents (more…)

By Chris Ingram

My wife Amy and I lost our Gasparilla virginity yesterday. Neither of us being fans of big drunken crowds had since avoided the festivities on Bayshore like the plague. Last year we were invited to attend Mayor Buckhorn’s tent but couldn’t go. Invited again this year, we left the kids with friends and made our way down to Bayshore to attend the annual event. We had a good time people watching. Some photos of the festivities are shown below. Gasparilla wasn’t on our “bucket list” but at least we can now say we’ve done it.

Click any photo to enlarge.

(more…)

There will not be an Irreverent View lunch next month. However, Irreverent View lunch goers can attend the Governor’s Day Luncheon at the Florida State Fairgrounds instead. Tickets are $25.00 per person and are non-refundable. If you would like to attend and sit with the IV lunch crowd, please contact by COB on Tuesday, January 22. I will purchase a table for our group. Alternatively, you can purchase a ticket directly from the Fair Authority. The date of the luncheon is Thursday, February 7, 2013.

Governor Scott will be the keynote speaker. While that isn’t a particularly inviting reason to attend, lots of muckety-mucks and people who think they are muckety-mucks will be in attendance, so it’s good people watching if nothing else. Doors open at 11:15 a.m. The program starts at noon and usually ends around 1:30. Entrance to the fair is included with your lunch ticket, so if you want to go ride the tilt-a-whirl before going back to the office, knock yourself out.

What’s more exciting than a Rick Scott speech? Watching paint dry.

By Chris Ingram

The Tampa Tribune

Published Wednesday, January 9, 2012

A friend recently emailed me the following with regard to the “fiscal cliff” and the so-called debt ceiling — which really doesn’t have a ceiling at all.

My friend didn’t write it, and I couldn’t find who did, but it’s the most concise and meaningful explanation about the biggest problem facing our country I’ve seen to date. It was titled, “Fiscal cliff put in a much better perspective.”

Caption: U.S. taxpayers taking a walk with Congress as their shepherd.

Lesson No. 1:

U.S. tax revenue (money collected): $2,170,000,000,000

Federal budget (money spent): $3,820,000,000,000

Difference between spending and revenue added to the national debt: $1,650,000,000,000

National debt (what we owe, but not including all liabilities such as Social Security): $14,271,000,000,000

Recent budget cuts: $38,500,000,000

Let’s now remove eight zeros and pretend it’s a family’s household budget:

Annual family income: $21,700

Money the family will spend if they want to keep living a lifestyle beyond its means: (more…)

By Chris Ingram

The Tampa Tribune

Published Saturday, December 22, 2012

Photo: My kids. Caption: The next generation is getting screwed.

If the 1960s are most remembered for the Kennedy and King assassinations and the fight for racial equality, and the ’70s for Watergate, Vietnam protests and the gas crisis, the ’80s for the fall of the Berlin Wall and Ronald Reagan’s optimism, the ’90s for the tech boom and Bill Clinton’s intern, the 2000s for the September 11th tragedy and the election of the first black president, the decade of 2010 will be defined by the bankruptcy of America.

You could write tomes explaining how this happened and who is to blame, but that won’t solve the problem. The fact is, America is broke, and it’s only a matter of time before we face the upheaval seen in Greece (in 2011, only Greece, Italy and Japan had higher debt as a percentage of GDP than the United States). The only reason we aren’t there yet is due to our politicians’ proclivity for punting.

They’re getting ready to punt again, with President Obama and Speaker Boehner working on a compromise that would include (more…)