Political Jokes Category

Breaking: FBI raids Hillsborough County Commission Offices

Tuesday, April 1st, 2014

Three commissioners arrested by FBI

By: Dub L. Entendre

Reminiscent of a previous raid thirty years ago, the Federal Bureau of Investigations raided the offices of three undisclosed members of the Hillsborough County Commission today.

fbi raid

Photo: Agents raid government center.

Stunned citizens and county government employees were shocked by the scene of armed agents entering One County Center around 1:30 p.m. today. The agents arrested three commissioners and a number of staffers, and later removed hundreds of boxes and several computers from the building.

“It was like a scene out of a movie, I tell you,” Ben Had, a witness to the raid said.

The three commissioners whose offices were raided were arrested and escorted out of the building.

“All of them appeared to be male. I don’t think Commissioner Murman was one of those arrested, as they all were wearing cheap JC Penney brand type shoes and all had their heads covered by their suit jackets,” said Richard Cranium, a witness, in referring to Commissioner Sandy Murman, the lone female on the seven-member board.

According to the FBI, the arrested commissioners were taken to an undisclosed location near Guantanamo Bay, Cuba leaving all the dumb legal experts to believe the three commissioners are being investigated for terrorist activities.

“I’m pretty sure Mark Sharpe was among them. I think he’s been working with the Taliban to take over the world and force everyone to take public transport and use those stupid CFL light bulbs that aren’t that bright,” said erstwhile citizen activist, Shanda Lear.

“They have been removed from the country for security reasons. We expect they will all sing like canaries under questioning from our investigators,” said FBI spokesperson Carrie Oakey.

FBI field director Joe King, added, “This is not a laughing matter.”

Super funny (unless you’re Charlie Crist)

Thursday, June 27th, 2013

By Chris Ingram

Last night I had the privilege of interviewing Al Ruechel, local TV personality at Bay News 9, while I was guest-hosting “Florida Tonight” on AM 820 News/Tampa and AM 1190 News/Orlando. Usually Al is interviewing me on Bay News 9 where I serve as the Republican political analyst. Last night, I got to ask the questions.

Graphic: Toocan “Too-tan” Charlie Crist. (1988 archive photo prior to dating Katherine Harris)

Al was his normal self: calm, cool, and collected. All this, even though HE was the one being interviewed — which he is no doubt, not used to.

So we’re in the third segment of the show (Al was on for an hour), and we started talking about Florida’s version of a weathercock (yes, there is such a thing, click here) when the conversation turns to (more…)

Gov. Scott set to resign today at noon

Monday, April 1st, 2013

By U. Ben Had

Florida Governor Rick Scott’s office announced the governor will hold a news conference today to inform the public that he will be resigning effective immediately.

Scott’s press spokesman Oliver Klozoff told the Tallahassee press corp that Scott, “wants more time to be with his family.”

However, another source indicated Scott (more…)

Bill Clinton’s hooker problem

Thursday, January 24th, 2013

Thanks to my friend Larry for passing this along this amusing tale (joke).

hookers

Bill Clinton started jogging near his home in Chappaqua.
But on each run he happened to jog past a hooker standing on the same Street corner, day after day.
With some apprehension he would brace himself as he approached her for what was most certainly to follow.

“Fifty dollars!” she would cry out from the curb.

“No, Five dollars!” fired back Clinton.

This ritual between Bill and the hooker continued for days. (more…)

Understanding Obama-nomics

Sunday, October 21st, 2012

Understanding Obama-nomics — Abbott and Costello style circa 2012.

Author unknown

COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America.

ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It’s 8.1%.

COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?

ABBOTT: No, that’s 14.7%.

COSTELLO: You just said 8.1%.

ABBOTT: 8.1% Unemployed.

COSTELLO: Right 8.1% out of work.

ABBOTT: No, that’s 14.7%.

COSTELLO: Okay, so it’s 14.7% unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, that’s 8.1%.

COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 8.1% or14.7%?

ABBOTT: 8.1% are unemployed. 14.7% are out of work.

COSTELLO: IF you are out of work you are unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, Obama said you can’t count the “Out of Work” as the unemployed. You have to (more…)

N.Y. Times media bias exposed!

Friday, January 6th, 2012

Last week a Harley-Davidson motorcyle rider who really looked like a sterotypical “biker” was at the zoo when he saw a little girl leaning into a lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabbed her by the cuff of her jacket and tried to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumped into the cage and hit the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumped back, letting go of the girl, and the biker brought her to her terrified parents, who thanked him endlessly.

A reporter from the The New York Times was at the zoo, and he had watched the whole event and approached the biker.

The reporter said, (more…)

Ode to the Welfare State

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2011

Democrat Dialog

Father must I go to work?
 No, my lucky son.
We’re living now on Easy Street.
 On dough from Washington.

We’ve left it up to Uncle Sam,
 So don’t get excercised.
Nobody has to give a damn–
 We’ve all been subsidized.

Photo of Pres. Truman and Pres. Obama. The more things change...the more they stay the same.


But if Sam treats us all too well

 And feeds us milk and honey,
Please, daddy, tell me what the hell
 He’s going to use for money.

Don’t worry, bub, there’s not a hitch
 In this here noble plan–
He simply soaks the filthy rich
 And helps the common man.

But, father, won’t there come a time
 When they run out of cash
And we have left them not a dime
 When things will go to smash?

My faith in you is shrinking, son,
 You nosy little brat;
You do too damn much thinking, son,
 To be a Democrat.

While the preceding is applicable in the class warfare President Obama and congressional Democrats are currently engaging in, take heart in noting it was entered into the Congressional Record in November  of 1949 by Representative Clarence J. Brown (R-OH). It seems the Democrats’ free-spending ways, general fiscal irresponsibility, and class-warfare tactics have deep roots.

Click here to view a PDF of the poem and report of it being in the Congressional Record from the November 4, 1949 New York Daily News.

Irreverent View would like to thank John Foster of Tampa for sharing the Daily News article.

Chris Ingram is the president and founder of 411 Communications a corporate and political communications firm, and publisher of Irreverent View. Ingram is a frequent pundit on Fox News and CNN, and has written opinion columns for the Washington Times, UPI, and National Review online. He is the Republican political analyst for Bay News 9, the only 24 hour all news channel in Florida’s largest media market. The opinions expressed here are those of author and do not represent the views of Bay News 9. E-mail him at: Chris@IrreverentView.com.

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Indian words of wisdom

Saturday, March 5th, 2011

Reminder, Daylight Savings Time begins on Sunday, 13 March.  A little limerick to help you remember which way to change the dial is “Spring forward, Fall back.” But it doesn’t explain why DST exists, or what it is supposed to do.

An old American Indian from Arizona when told of the government’s reason for implementing Daylight Savings Times, once observed, “Only the government would believe that you could cut a foot off the top of a blanket, sew it to the bottom of the same blanket, and have a longer blanket.”

A Healthcare “clunker”

Thursday, September 10th, 2009

Author unknown

A vehicle at 15 mpg and 12,000 miles per year uses 800 gallons a year of gasoline.

A vehicle at 25 mpg and 12,000 miles per year uses 480 gallons a year. So, the average clunker transaction will reduce US gasoline consumption by 320 gallons per year.

They claim 700,000 vehicles so that’s 224 million gallons/year.

That equates to a bit over 5 million barrels of oil.

5 million barrels of oil is about of one day’s US consumption.

And, 5 million barrels of oil costs about $350million dollars at $75/bbl.

So, we all contributed to spending $3 billion to save $350 million.

How good a deal was that?

 They’ll probably do a great job with health care though!

You can buy Charlie Crist!

Tuesday, April 14th, 2009

Press Release April 14, 2009
Contact: Chris Ingram (813) 951-2977

Charlie Crist for Senate can be bought!

(Tampa, Fla.) — Strategic Solutions of Florida, a Tampa-based corporate and political consulting firm has put up for auction on E-bay the website domain www.CharlieCristforSenate.com which the company owns. Bidding starts at just $1.00.

Strategic Solutions will donate the proceeds from the winning bid to the United States Treasury Federal Debt Reduction Account to help pay the nation’s staggering $11 trillion national debt. Florida Governor Charlie Crist recently supported adding $800 billion dollars to the debt when he enthusiastically embraced President Obama’s reckless spending plan under the auspices of “stimulating” the economy. (more…)

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