By Chris Ingram

Having Sen. Marco Rubio as the champion of the immigration reform bill Congress is considering is akin to asking the Road Runner to be in charge of speed limits. Here’s why: Rubio is Cuban. Being Cuban means he is Hispanic. Republicans have a huge problem in appealing to Hispanics. Ergo, Rubio is the savior of the party who will help it win the Hispanic vote.

Problem is, although Rubio is Read the rest of this entry »

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By Chris Ingram

Satire

Retail stores nationwide reported a run on pressure cookers and slow cookers (Crock-Pots), following plans by congressional Democrats and the White House to ban sales of the small appliances following Monday’s tragic bombing in Boston in which pressure cookers were the weapon of choice. The FBI found remnants of a cooker they believe was filled with nails and packed with explosives. The bombing killed three people.

Speaking from the floor of the House of Representatives on Thursday, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi said she would introduce an immediate emergency ban of pressure cooker and slow cooker sales. Pelosi believes such a ban would be legal under Article 1, Section 8, Clause 3 of the United States Constitution.

“The Commerce Clause provides wide latitude for the government to regulate dangerous weapons such as these. We are working with Senate Democrats and the president to ensure these weapons of civil destruction don’t end up in the wrong hands,” Pelosi said.

As he took a drag on a cigarette while walking into a tanning salon on Capitol Hill, House Speaker John Boehner mused, “Pressure cookers and Crock-Pots Read the rest of this entry »

By Chris Ingram

The Tampa Tribune

Published Sunday, April 7, 2013

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting-lodge wall on its back. So goes an old laugh line.

These days, Charlie Crist is the moose of Florida politics. He appears to be a threat for sure, though he is not threatening at all once you turn on the lights and see the hunting-lodge wall on his back.

Make no mistake, Crist once was a real threat. Then Republicans showed him the door following the Jim Greer fiasco, and after his multiple flip-flops on lifelong conservative positions, not to mention the infamous hug.

Today, Crist and his smiling face, with his perfectly coiffed silver hair, glows on billboards for ubiquitous trial lawyer John Morgan. Crist now works for Morgan’s law firm. His mug frequently replaces Morgan’s on TV, allowing Crist to maintain a high profile as he pitches being Read the rest of this entry »

By U. Ben Had

Florida Governor Rick Scott’s office announced the governor will hold a news conference today to inform the public that he will be resigning effective immediately.

Scott’s press spokesman Oliver Klozoff told the Tallahassee press corp that Scott, “wants more time to be with his family.”

However, another source indicated Scott Read the rest of this entry »

Young State Representative Grant embroiled in another “grant” controversy (pardon the shameless puns)

By Chris Ingram

Youthful, and woefully inexperienced should have been enough to cause voters to pause when young Jamie Grant felt he was the best man for the job of state representative from Tampa. But voters are easily fooled — at least once.

However, the fact that before he even was elected he had questionable judgment and what looked like sweat-heart deals should have given them a clue that this skunk stinks. Unfortunately they didn’t, and Grant is now in the state legislature in Tallahassee — that bastion of ethics and good judgment of people who represent us.

For a little background on Grant, read what I wrote about him on October 13, 2010: Read the rest of this entry »

By Chris Ingram

The Tampa Tribune

Published Tuesday, February 27, 2013

Unless you have kids who play league athletics in Hillsborough County, you probably are not aware of the fact that 55 of the county’s 59 athletic parks are managed and maintained by volunteer groups.

Such is the case at Skyway Park.

Skyway is adjacent to the residential neighborhood of Dana Shores and is just west of the airport. It serves the youths of the Town ‘N Country area.

A nonprofit league, managed by a board of directors who are all volunteers, manages everything from field maintenance to cleaning the bathrooms and running the concessions. For its part, the county cuts the grass once a week, pays the water bill to keep the fields moist, and will take care of things such as a major plumbing problem if one arises.  Read the rest of this entry »

By Chris Ingram

The Tampa Tribune

Published Tuesday, February 27, 2013

Most anyone who has taken a statistics class has heard the example of the incidence of rape rising when sales of ice cream increase. Does that mean rape is more likely to occur as ice cream sales rise? The evidence says yes.

But would banning ice cream sales result in a reduction in the number of rapes? Almost certainly not. Why? Because the correlation does not demonstrate the causation. Looked at another way, they have a shared cause, but there is no correlation. The cause in both cases is hotter temperatures. That is, rape is more likely to occur in warmer months, just as ice cream sales shoot up during the hot summer season. Banning the sale of ice cream to reduce rape makes about as much sense as banning guns to reduce violence.

We get bombarded with stats, figures and polling data every day. Much of this, particularly the polling data, is next to useless. But it doesn’t stop the media from fixating on often-times meaningless numbers to tell a story. Real facts and figures are harder to explain, thus the preferred use of polling numbers.

But hard facts don’t lie. According to the FBI, in 2011 there were 8,583 firearm-related Read the rest of this entry »